Skitz-O-Phonics

Mighty Moe & Thunder Girl - "Super permit" (part 1)

August 05, 2021 eArL (E.J.) Hamilton Season 1 Episode 4
Skitz-O-Phonics
Mighty Moe & Thunder Girl - "Super permit" (part 1)
Show Notes Transcript

A superhero from another planet applies for a crime fighting permit in Mighty Moe & Thunder Girl's city.  (part 1)
(Voice talents:  Adrienne Randle.  Kenneth Byrd)

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 FADE IN:

INT. OFFICE - NIGHT

The police Commissioner sits behind his desk. KNOCK on the door.

COMMISSIONER

Come in.

In walks an middle-aged female dressed in a superhero suit, complete with cape, mask and boots.

COMMISSIONER

Hello, you must be...

LUSCIOUS

Luscious The Black Tigress, but you can call me Luscious. 

COMMISSIONER

Nice to meet you Luscious. Have a seat.

She sits down. 

COMMISSIONER

I must say I'm impressed with your super suit, the cape, mask, boots, looks really powerful. 

LUSCIOUS

Thanks. I always say if you're going to be a super hero you have to look to look the part.

COMMISSIONER

So how'd you get the name Black Tigress anyway? 

LUSCIOUS

Actually my old boyfriend gave me that name. 

(can noise)

Rawrrr.

(giggles)

As a matter of fact he's the one who bought me this suit. He liked to role-play, always pretending to get stuck in a tree so I'd have to save him.

The Commissioner flips through a stack of papers.

COMMISSIONER

Don't take this the wrong way but I've never heard of you before, not to mention I can't seem to find a reference file on you anywhere. 

LUSCIOUS

I'm underground, off the grid you might say.

COMMISSIONER

Look, I'm going to be honest with you, it's going to be hard to issue you that super hero permit without some kind of reference. Is there anybody I can call to verify--

LUSCIOUS

No.

COMMISSIONER

How about a letter of recommendation, some kind of certificate?

LUSCIOUS

I'm sorry, even if I were to send a transmission requesting one right now it would take seventeen light years to reach Gray-pu-pon-da and seventeen to get it back.

COMMISSIONER

I've never heard of Gray-pu-pon-da, is that anywhere near Plaxodrafadilladorfus?

LUSCIOUS

No no, Gray-pu-pon-da is way on the other side of the Gragzonian Milky Way. 

COMMISSIONER

Okay. Well once again I'm sorry but I don't think--

LUSCIOUS


Look, I understand the position you're in but I'm off the map and that's the way I've always been. But if you Google Gray-pu-pon-da you'd be pleasantly surprised to find that it's number three on the top-ten safest planets in the galaxy.

COMMISSIONER

So let me ask you this, out of all the planets in the solar system, out of all the places on planet Earth, why California? We already have two super heroes, Mighty Moe and Thunder Girl.

Luscious burst out laughing.

COMMISSIONER

What's so funny?

LUSCIOUS

First of all their names, right off the bat should've told you something's not right with those two. Second of all, on a professional-level, Mighty Moe and Thunder Girl aren't even recognized as certified super heroes. I know them but they're not real super heroes. Third, they have some very serious personal problems, plus they're dating each other, but you didn't hear it from me.

COMMISSIONER

So your telling me that you can do a better job fighting crime all by yourself?

LUSCIOUS

Correct-a-mundo.

The Commissioner thinks it over a bit.

COMMISSIONER

You seem like a nice lady but--

LUSCIOUS

So you like what you see, right?

COMMISSIONER

Excuse me?

LUSCIOUS

I see you staring at my super figure. 

COMMISSIONER

I'd like to keep this as professional as possible Mrs. Tigress.

LUSCIOUS

I admire your lust-control. You're a strong man to be able to resist my super pheromones. 

COMMISSIONER

So what makes you more qualified than our current superheros? Mighty Moe can bend plastic with his mind, Thunder Girl can create Thunder out of thin air. What are your super powers? 

LUSCIOUS

Glad you asked commissioner. I'm the only super hero who's able to breath dust.

The Commissioner looks confused.

COMMISSIONER

Dust? I'm not following you.

LUSCIOUS

Dragons can breath fire, I can breath dust.

COMMISSIONER

(still confused)

And how is that a super power?

LUSCIOUS

Ever had dust in your eyes? Very difficult to function with large dust particles blurring your vision am I right?

COMMISSIONER

You got anything else, like do you have the strength of a Tiger?

LUSCIOUS

I'm afraid not.

COMMISSIONER

Do you have super speed?

LUSCIOUS

No.

COMMISSIONER

Can your claws cut metal?

LUSCIOUS

No.

COMMISSIONER

Glass?

LUSCIOUS

No.

COMMISSIONER

Plastic?

LUSCIOUS

Maybe.

COMMISSIONER

How about swimming, can you swim like a dolphin?

LUSCIOUS

No, I hate water. I don't dance neither.

COMMISSIONER

I'm sorry but I'm not going to be able to give you a crime-fighting superhero permit today. Maybe come back in three years.

LUSCIOUS

Three years?! I need that money now.

COMMISSIONER

Money? We don't pay our superheroes to fight crime.

LUSCIOUS

You're kidding, right?

COMMISSIONER

No, I'm not kidding--

LONG LOUD FART

LUSCIOUS

Sorry.

(to herself)

Knew I shouldn't have eaten those leftover chitterlings.

The Commissioner begins gasping for clean air.

COMMISSIONER

Aghhh. Oh my god please don't do that again.

Luscious slowly begins to realize she has more power than she thought. She begins to flaunt it.

LUSCIOUS

It appears I do have a viable super power after all. Now how about that permit, Commissioner Jordan?

COMMISSIONER

No, I'll never give you that card.

LUSCIOUS

You sure about that?

FART

COMMISSIONER

Aghhh. I can't breath! I can't see! 

LUSCIOUS

As you can see my farts can be used as a smoke screen, military-grade tear gas as well as an uncontrollable laxative. Do you still doubt the power of Luscious The Black Tigress?

COMMISSIONER

No! No! Your powers are truly remarkable! 

LUSCIOUS

You will issue me that superhero permit, in addition, you will pay me a hefty salary every week.

COMMISSIONER

Yes yes, Black Tigress I'll give you the permit and the money. Just don't fart anymore. And please open a window!

Luscious walks over and OPENS A WINDOW.

Commissioner breathes a breath of fresh air.

LUSCIOUS

Have a nice day Commissioner Jordan.

Luscious exits out the door.

Commissioner quickly crawls over to his desk. Picks up the phone and PUSHES A FEW BUTTONS.

COMMISSIONER

(into phone)

Mighty Moe, Thunder Girl, we've got a big problem.


FADE OUT.

(To be continued)