A superhero from another planet applies for a crime fighting permit in Mighty Moe & Thunder Girl's city. (part 1)
(Voice talents: Adrienne Randle. Kenneth Byrd)
A superhero from another planet applies for a crime fighting permit in Mighty Moe & Thunder Girl's city. (part 1)
(Voice talents: Adrienne Randle. Kenneth Byrd)
FADE IN:
INT. OFFICE - NIGHT
The police Commissioner sits behind his desk. KNOCK on the door.
COMMISSIONER
Come in.
In walks an middle-aged female dressed in a superhero suit, complete with cape, mask and boots.
COMMISSIONER
Hello, you must be...
LUSCIOUS
Luscious The Black Tigress, but you can call me Luscious.
COMMISSIONER
Nice to meet you Luscious. Have a seat.
She sits down.
COMMISSIONER
I must say I'm impressed with your super suit, the cape, mask, boots, looks really powerful.
LUSCIOUS
Thanks. I always say if you're going to be a super hero you have to look to look the part.
COMMISSIONER
So how'd you get the name Black Tigress anyway?
LUSCIOUS
Actually my old boyfriend gave me that name.
(can noise)
Rawrrr.
(giggles)
As a matter of fact he's the one who bought me this suit. He liked to role-play, always pretending to get stuck in a tree so I'd have to save him.
The Commissioner flips through a stack of papers.
COMMISSIONER
Don't take this the wrong way but I've never heard of you before, not to mention I can't seem to find a reference file on you anywhere.
LUSCIOUS
I'm underground, off the grid you might say.
COMMISSIONER
Look, I'm going to be honest with you, it's going to be hard to issue you that super hero permit without some kind of reference. Is there anybody I can call to verify--
LUSCIOUS
No.
COMMISSIONER
How about a letter of recommendation, some kind of certificate?
LUSCIOUS
I'm sorry, even if I were to send a transmission requesting one right now it would take seventeen light years to reach Gray-pu-pon-da and seventeen to get it back.
COMMISSIONER
I've never heard of Gray-pu-pon-da, is that anywhere near Plaxodrafadilladorfus?
LUSCIOUS
No no, Gray-pu-pon-da is way on the other side of the Gragzonian Milky Way.
COMMISSIONER
Okay. Well once again I'm sorry but I don't think--
LUSCIOUS
Look, I understand the position you're in but I'm off the map and that's the way I've always been. But if you Google Gray-pu-pon-da you'd be pleasantly surprised to find that it's number three on the top-ten safest planets in the galaxy.
COMMISSIONER
So let me ask you this, out of all the planets in the solar system, out of all the places on planet Earth, why California? We already have two super heroes, Mighty Moe and Thunder Girl.
Luscious burst out laughing.
COMMISSIONER
What's so funny?
LUSCIOUS
First of all their names, right off the bat should've told you something's not right with those two. Second of all, on a professional-level, Mighty Moe and Thunder Girl aren't even recognized as certified super heroes. I know them but they're not real super heroes. Third, they have some very serious personal problems, plus they're dating each other, but you didn't hear it from me.
COMMISSIONER
So your telling me that you can do a better job fighting crime all by yourself?
LUSCIOUS
Correct-a-mundo.
The Commissioner thinks it over a bit.
COMMISSIONER
You seem like a nice lady but--
LUSCIOUS
So you like what you see, right?
COMMISSIONER
Excuse me?
LUSCIOUS
I see you staring at my super figure.
COMMISSIONER
I'd like to keep this as professional as possible Mrs. Tigress.
LUSCIOUS
I admire your lust-control. You're a strong man to be able to resist my super pheromones.
COMMISSIONER
So what makes you more qualified than our current superheros? Mighty Moe can bend plastic with his mind, Thunder Girl can create Thunder out of thin air. What are your super powers?
LUSCIOUS
Glad you asked commissioner. I'm the only super hero who's able to breath dust.
The Commissioner looks confused.
COMMISSIONER
Dust? I'm not following you.
LUSCIOUS
Dragons can breath fire, I can breath dust.
COMMISSIONER
(still confused)
And how is that a super power?
LUSCIOUS
Ever had dust in your eyes? Very difficult to function with large dust particles blurring your vision am I right?
COMMISSIONER
You got anything else, like do you have the strength of a Tiger?
LUSCIOUS
I'm afraid not.
COMMISSIONER
Do you have super speed?
LUSCIOUS
No.
COMMISSIONER
Can your claws cut metal?
LUSCIOUS
No.
COMMISSIONER
Glass?
LUSCIOUS
No.
COMMISSIONER
Plastic?
LUSCIOUS
Maybe.
COMMISSIONER
How about swimming, can you swim like a dolphin?
LUSCIOUS
No, I hate water. I don't dance neither.
COMMISSIONER
I'm sorry but I'm not going to be able to give you a crime-fighting superhero permit today. Maybe come back in three years.
LUSCIOUS
Three years?! I need that money now.
COMMISSIONER
Money? We don't pay our superheroes to fight crime.
LUSCIOUS
You're kidding, right?
COMMISSIONER
No, I'm not kidding--
LONG LOUD FART
LUSCIOUS
Sorry.
(to herself)
Knew I shouldn't have eaten those leftover chitterlings.
The Commissioner begins gasping for clean air.
COMMISSIONER
Aghhh. Oh my god please don't do that again.
Luscious slowly begins to realize she has more power than she thought. She begins to flaunt it.
LUSCIOUS
It appears I do have a viable super power after all. Now how about that permit, Commissioner Jordan?
COMMISSIONER
No, I'll never give you that card.
LUSCIOUS
You sure about that?
FART
COMMISSIONER
Aghhh. I can't breath! I can't see!
LUSCIOUS
As you can see my farts can be used as a smoke screen, military-grade tear gas as well as an uncontrollable laxative. Do you still doubt the power of Luscious The Black Tigress?
COMMISSIONER
No! No! Your powers are truly remarkable!
LUSCIOUS
You will issue me that superhero permit, in addition, you will pay me a hefty salary every week.
COMMISSIONER
Yes yes, Black Tigress I'll give you the permit and the money. Just don't fart anymore. And please open a window!
Luscious walks over and OPENS A WINDOW.
Commissioner breathes a breath of fresh air.
LUSCIOUS
Have a nice day Commissioner Jordan.
Luscious exits out the door.
Commissioner quickly crawls over to his desk. Picks up the phone and PUSHES A FEW BUTTONS.
COMMISSIONER
(into phone)
Mighty Moe, Thunder Girl, we've got a big problem.
FADE OUT.
(To be continued)