Skitz-O-Phonics

Let's celebrate

August 06, 2021 eArL (E.J.) Hamilton Season 1 Episode 9
Skitz-O-Phonics
Let's celebrate
Show Notes Transcript

Two sportscasters commentate on a football game.
(Rhys Green.  E.J. Hamilton)

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 FADE IN:

INT. SOUND BOOTH - DAY

We hear the sound of the crowd in a sports stadium.  Two broadcasters are commentating on the football game.

JEFF

Well that's the end of the third quarter. It's seven zero, Roosters over the Wild Dogs. This is some game, wouldn't you say, Peter?

PETER

Yes I would, Jeff, yes I would. It's both exciting and a joy to watch.

JEFF

You don't get this kind of physical action in any other sport, wouldn't you agree, Peter?

PETER

Yes I would Jeff, yes I would. As much as I like baseball, it's just too boring for me. Say, if you enjoy bubble gum like I do, make sure it's Chomp-Chomp. The only sugar-free, dentist-approved bubble gum made for adults. Chew it while sporting, chew it while camping, or just taking a leisurely nap. Chomp-Chomp, why chew anything else?

JEFF

And here we go to start the fourth quarter. Grissil is in the shotgun on the Wild Dog's thirty yard line. He scrabbles to his left. He's in trouble. Oh my goodness! Somehow he evades the blitz and finds his receiver in the corner of the end zone! Touchdown Roosters! Wow what a play! What a drive! This rookie quarterback is really having a fantastic year, and he's proved to America that he's got legs too, able to scramble out of possible sacks like a seasoned vet.

PETER

That was all fine and dandy but take a look at that celebration in the end zone? Grissil, has somehow gotten a hold of a whip. And now he's cracking it like a lion tamer! He's taming the Wild Dogs! Oh my gosh, how creative was that?!

JEFF

Seems you're more excited about the end zone celebrations than the actual touchdown, there Peter.

PETER

Well I am. Sure you practice every day for touchdowns, field goals and even trick plays, but these celebrations you have to practice on your own time. And it's down right embarrassing if you don't get it right. That's why I don't care for college football, the officials don't allow players to express themselves in any way whatsoever.

JEFF

Well with the P.A.T. It's all tied up seven seven in the forth quarter. Let's see what the Wild Dogs do with the kickoff. Straight away or on-side kick? What do you think Peter?

PETER

Well Jeff I'm pretty sure they'll be kicking it away, there's just too much to risk at this point, after all there's still plenty of time still on the clock, and the Roosters still have two time outs.

JEFF

And here's the kick-off, straight and away just like you said. Humphreys takes it at his twenty, the thirty, he side-steps a tackle, he's at the forty. Humphreys gets a tremendous block as he sprints down the sidelines to the fifty. Man does he have speed, only the lonely kicker has a shot at him now as he crosses the forty! Oh what a stiff-arm to the helmet of that poor guy, driving him to the turf. I don't see any penalty flags, he is going to score! What a run! An eighty yard kickoff return by Nate Humphries! Can you believe it?!

PETER

Yes I can Jeff. But what I can't believe is the celebration going on in the end zone! The entire team is laying on the field shoulder to shoulder. Oh and look, here comes Humphreys, he's on a motorcycle! Oh my gosh he's jumping the entire team!

FADE OUT.

THE END.