Skitz-O-Phonics

Walk the dogs

August 11, 2021 eArL (E.J.) Hamilton Season 1 Episode 12
Skitz-O-Phonics
Walk the dogs
Show Notes Transcript

Two females have a little friction in the dog park.
(Voice talents:  Janice Island.  Damarah Bryant)

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FADE IN:

EXT. PARK - DAY

A lady is walking her dog. She stops at a bench and rest,
this is Flossy. It's not long until another lady comes and
sits beside her with her dog. This is CHERRELL.

FLOSSY
                      
                      Hello.

CHERRELL
                      
                      Hi.

FLOSSY
                      
                      Sure is a nice day.

CHERRELL
                      
                      Sure is, now.

FLOSSY
                      
                      What do you mean?

CHERRELL
                      
                      You didn't see all those cops out
                      here earlier?

FLOSSY
                      
                      No, what happened?

CHERRELL
                      
                      I don't know but they were chasing
                      some guy up and down the streets,
                      all through the allies.

FLOSSY
                      
                      Must have done something pretty
                      serious. They weren't shooting were
                      they?

CHERRELL
                      
                      No, thank God it ended peacefully.
                      They threw him in the police car and
                      drove off.

FLOSSY
                      
                      I'm Flossy.

CHERRELL
                      
                      Nice to meet you, I'm Cherrell.

They both shake hands.


FLOSSY
                      
                      Good looking dog you have there.

CHERRELL
                      
                      I was about to say the same about
                      yours.

FLOSSY
                      
                      What's his name?

CHERRELL
                      
                      Bernard. How about yours?

FLOSSY
                      
                      Karl. Finally upgraded from that
                      loud-mouthed boyfriend I was trying
                      to raise.

They both burst out LAUGHING.

CHERRELL
                      
                      Men are highly over-rated, right?

FLOSSY
                      
                      Listen, you may catch me with
                      another woman's husband but you'll
                      never catch me with my own.

Flossy laughs, Cherrell tries to force a one out.

CHERRELL
                      
                      So how's Karl doing today? He
                      certainly looks healthy.

FLOSSY
                      
                      He is, soon as I switched his dog
                      food from Kibble Crunch to Grits,
                      Gravy and Biscuits, his coat and
                      teeth have been shining like a star
                      in the midnight sky.

CHERRELL
                      
                      That's pretty bright.

FLOSSY
                      (serious)
                      
                      So you think I'm exaggerating, a
                      little over the top?

Cherrell seems a little intimidated.

CHERRELL
                      
                      No, no he looks good.

FLOSSY
                      
                      Good or great? Because Karl is show
                      dog caliber, Westminster. I could
                      make a million dollars off of him if
                      I wanted to.

CHERRELL
                      
                      But you don't want to?

FLOSSY
                      
                      It's okay to be jealous, but it's
                      not cute to be hateful.

CHERRELL
                      
                      Hateful? I'm not tying to be... I
                      didn't mean to offend you or Karl.
                      How about we just agree, my dog is
                      cute and your dog is cute, we both
                      have cute dogs, okay?

FLOSSY
                      
                      Okay.
                      (beat)
                      
                      But you think your dog is cuter than
                      mine don't you?

CHERRELL
                      
                      I didn't say that.

FLOSSY
                      
                      Yeah but you said your dog was cute
                      first.

CHERRELL
                      
                      I didn't mean anything by it, I'm
                      sorry, okay.

Flossy takes a deep breath to calm down.

FLOSSY
                      
                      Yeah I'm sorry too. I'm making way
                      too much out of this. I'm not making
                      excuses but it is that time of the
                      month for me.

CHERRELL
                      
                      Well that explains a lot.

FLOSSY
                      
                      What do you mean by that?

CHERRELL
                      
                      You know how we can get when we're
                      on our period.

FLOSSY
                      
                      Your fat dog is on his period.

CHERRELL
                      
                      What's wrong with you? He's a boy.

Flossy takes a deep breath to calm down.

FLOSSY
                      
                      I don't know I don't know what's
                      wrong with me lately, must be those
                      new experimental supplements I've
                      been taking.

CHERRELL
                      
                      Experimental?

FLOSSY
                      
                      Yeah, it's supposed to get rid of
                      your excessive gas problems in the
                      day and help you loose weight at
                      night.

CHERRELL
                      
                      Yeah, you have to be careful about
                      anything new and experimental.

FLOSSY
                      
                      So you think I'm stupid for trying
                      something new, and experimental?

Flossy FARTS. Cherrell is both embarrassed and amused.

CHERRELL
                      
                      No, not at all, I was just--

FLOSSY
                      
                      So you think I look like some big
                      fat circus lady don't you?

CHERRELL
                      
                      No. Of course not. I was just
                      saying--

FLOSSY
                      
                      Why can't you be the friend I
                      thought you were--

CHERRELL
                      
                      We just met.

Flossy goes on as if she didn't hear her.

FLOSSY
                      
                      When I said the supplement was
                      supposed to help me loose weight,
                      your line should have been something
                      like, "No Flossy, you don't need any
                      kind of weight loss supplement. You
                      look like absolutely gorgeous."

CHERRELL
                      
                      Okay, I'm trying to be your friend
                      but it's exhausting. Everything I
                      say seems to be taken as an insult
                      or a threat. I just met you so why
                      would I want to do any of those
                      things Flossy?

Flossy is finally at a loss for words.

CHERRELL
                      
                      I think me and Bernard better go.

Cherrell stands up.

FLOSSY
                      
                      Wow. So you think you and your mangy
                      dog are too good for us. Really?!
                      Well let me tell you something lady,
                      it'll take three cross-eyed bad
                      breath Bernards to even come close
                      to one Karl. One!

CHERRELL
                      
                      Bye Flossy.

FLOSSY
                      
                      Where 'you going?

Cherrell and Bernard walk away.

FLOSSY
                      
                      I'm sorry! Look, you'd be like this
                      too if you had dual STD's and a
                      stubborn bowel movement.

Cherrell doesn't look back.

FLOSSY
                      
                      Go on, leave my hefty friend! And
                      take your bow legged dog with you!
                      (to her dog Karl)
                      
                      Me and you will be just fine without
                      them won't we Karl?

Karl just looks away.

FLOSSY
                      (to Karl)
                      
                      You're my dog and you can't even
                      look at me when I'm talking to you? 
                      (listens)
                      
                      What do you mean my breath stinks?!
                      Why you ungrateful good for nothing
                      hound, I aughtta...!

Flossy takes a deep breath to calm down.

FLOSSY
                      (to Karl)
                      
                      Yeah maybe you're right, I probably
                      shouldn't be taking those
                      supplements and crack together, but
                      it's not easy being a homophobic
                      hermaphrodite.
                      (listens)
                      
                      What's that?
                      (listens)
                      
                      Good idea, let's go before another
                      nut comes over here bothering us.

Flossy and Karl walk away.
                                        
                                        FADE OUT.